Reclaiming Entitlement

What are we entitled to and who gets to decide?

The sun is shining through the trees in the forest

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🌕 Dear reader, Happy belated Full Moon!

I hope you’ll forgive me for the few days delay on this send out. It's been a big week for me, and rather than panicking about not being ready to send this on Wednesday, I decided to allow myself an extra couple of days. I was presumptuous enough to believe you wouldn’t hold it against me. Who knows, you might even be inspired and cut yourself some slack for that thing looming in your pipeline.

On this Full Moon, I really got to contemplate the power of my will. I am seeing decisions and actions I took last year bloom into strong, magical things, and it is thrilling. It also reminds me how much responsibility we have with every choice we make, and how mindful we need to be with them.

Without further ado, here is this week's essay. 🌕

Reclaiming Entitlement

Last week, I quit yet another job.

And I pat myself on the back for staying there a full year. I did not love this job. The position promised great creativity and opportunities to grow, but saying it did not deliver would be the understatement of the year (and I know it’s only February).

The office culture felt stale. There was a constant sense of being monitored, an emphasis on things looking like work rather than actually working (you could tell how uncomfortable management was with people working from home), and I suspect no on in this company ever heard the phrase “this meeting could have been an email.”

The deciding factor for me, though, was my manager: A magical mix of absent and micro, highly demanding but leaving you to fend for yourself at every turn and, even worse, prone to lie and throw you under the bus to cover his incompetence.

Inhale. Exhale.

During one of the many fikas (the sacred Swedish coffee break) that took place in my last few weeks, a colleague asked me what was next. When I told her I was going to work for that big Swedish furniture company (yes, that one), she said without missing a beat, “Oh, was it your dream?” Big shout out to my workwife sitting next to us who interjected, “SHE DOES NOT DREAM OF LABOR.”
My workwife is better than yours.

In fact, I do dream of labour. I dream of creative work that stimulates me and brings meaning to my life. I dream of channelling my energy into something beautiful that helps me leave this world slightly better than I found it. Do I dream of any corporation to sell my time to? No, I do not.

Another colleague, one who’s been just as dissatisfied with the job as I have, was surprised by my fast exit. I was surprised by his surprise. I told him I didn’t understand how he’d been standing it for so long. It only took me a couple of months to decide I wouldn’t stay, and so it did for him. After a long year, I found my exit. He was in his 7th year – and counting. “That’s because you’re from the Entitled Generation.” he sighed. A pause. “Entitled to have my work and time respected and valued? Well, I guess I am,” I retorted.

Now, I need to stop here and acknowledge my privileged position. Not everyone has the luxury of striving for a meaningful and elevating professional life. Many people are looking for employment, any employment, to fulfil their most basic needs and the needs of those in their care. What I want to call attention to, however, is who gets to decide what we are entitled to and when we ask for too much.

When you Google “Entitled Generation,” you quickly realise that it is little more than a new way for conservative thinkers to reminisce on “the good ol’ days” and decry any cultural shifts brought about by “the youth!” Many blog posts discuss how to “handle” this generation, how to stop it, how to raise better children, etc. It’s a little silly, really.

There is nothing wrong with entitlement per se. We are all entitled to certain things. It is the basis of human rights. The problem, as I see it, is when entitlement gets misplaced. That is the basis of the imperialist white capitalist cis-heteronormative patriarchy.

Indeed, I find it funny that there is so much said about the entitlement of Millenials and GenZers for demanding better mental health support, broader and more honest diversity and inclusion conversations (DEI forever, y’all), respectful workplaces, and basic healthcare. What about generations who felt completely entitled to the resources and labour of other countries, on the basis of race? Or generations of men feeling entitled to the free labour of women to care for their children, their homes and their every emotional needs? How about that for misplaced entitlement?

I remember telling my mother one day that I never knew a time when we did not live in an economic crisis. I turned 15 in 2008, an interesting time to come of age and start positioning yourself in the grand scheme of things. In addition, I was also always very artsy and literary incline and, as one of my high school teachers told my class of like-minded kids(our philosophy teacher, mind you), we’d “better get [our]selves used to the benches of the unemployment office” (“les bancs de l’ANPE” for my Frenchies. Iykyk.) So, dear boomers and Xers, excuse us if we built our relationship to work differently than you did.

I know not to count on my job to provide me with a sense of belonging and safety. If it does, great, that’s a bonus, but I don’t need it to. And if it challenges it, then, so long. I believe that “my job is here to serve me. Not the other way around.” (I cannot remember who said this first. If you know who to credit please let me know.)

Job loyalty is a pretty foreign concept to me. Of course, I mean beyond the legal and common sense agreement I make when signing a contract. I do not believe I owe any sort of emotional allegiance to my employer. I can be loyal to people, but even that will never be at the expense of my self-respect and freedom of thought. I am entitled to those. And so are you. Maybe it is our generation’s duty to remind our elders of it.

Of course, there is much more to say about how historical and societal events change what we aspire to and believe we deserve. As with all things, these topics always live at the intersection of race, gender, class, physical abilities, and more.

Hiking in Söderåsen National Park for Imbolc

So, in conclusion, this week, I invite you to contemplate what you consider yourself entitled to. If you struggle to come up with anything, let me tell you that, at the very least, as a living being you, are entitled to a life of meaning, integrity, joy, and decency. You are entitled to your voice and thoughts and not to be harmed for either. This is not to say that you should not face the consequences of expressing those thoughts, especially if they are causing harm to others. We are all entitled to exist as we are. You are entitled to the benefit of the doubt and to making mistakes. And, of course, you are entitled to basic human rights such as decent shelter, nourishing food, clean water, and basic hygiene.

If we are to be the Entitled Generation, let that not be a threat but instead an opportunity for everyone to live a better, kinder, more creative, and beautiful life.

✨See you on the New Moon (February 27th)! ✨

🌕 Full Moon Recommendations 🌕

All the Colours of Life, by Lisa Aisato

I stumbled upon this absolute gem of a book while looking for a gift in the children's section of my local bookstore. Though an illustrated album, All the colours of Life is for all ages, quite literally, as it covers very phases of life from childhood to old age, with gorgeous poetic drawing. I didn't find the gift I was looking for but instead found a great gift for myself.

Andy Hunter, Bookshop.org’s CEO, on Decoder podcast

Bookshop.org is giving Amazon a run for its money by becoming the go-to alternative for online bookshopping and supporting independent bookstore. It is only available in the US and UK at the moment, but I’m looking forward to them entering the EU market (until then, I’ll continue using Blackwell’s or Adlibris in Sweden). This conversation between the founder and The Verge journalist Nilay Patel is worth a listen.